I’m sitting in the dim of my kitchen, glass of pinot noir at hand, dead flower petals and strings of ear buds scattered about my desk as I catch glimpses of darkening grey through the window. This shade of slate won’t seem to let up, though we were teased with a few days of shimmery sunshine and afternoons filled with the fluff of cherry blossoms.
It has been six years today since my dad, Hal, died. It feels like that time has passed in a heartbeat yet in the same breath like he’s been in the shadows of my memory for a decade.
It’s Father’s Day and like every year since mine has passed, it’s a day that proves to be difficult, or strange at least in one way or another. Certain events though, especially in the past few days, have made me reflect especially on the man who raised me for twenty years of my life.
Hal Mischke
As yesterday passed I looked at the date on a number of occasions: 5/28/2014. While signing papers, following up on emails, flipping through my planner, checking on documents. What didn’t occur to me was that it was my late dad’s birthday. It’s very strange that I hadn’t taken note of this or grieved not being able to give him a warm hug and cut him a slice of his favorite German chocolate cake. He was never one for making a fuss for his birthday, ever, so I suppose my lack of remembrance would have been fitting. It did make me question though, has almost five years of him being out of my daily life changed the way I miss him?
It won’t be until 10:10 today that my dad died four years ago. I honestly and embarrassingly can’t remember whether it was morning or night, the fluorescent hospital lights and agitated sleep on hard, angled chairs warped time and reality.
I watched World War Z this Monday (finally), and I came away with two things.
We played this song at his funeral; he and I had recently spent hours ruminating over both Jeff Buckley and Leonard Cohen’s renditions in his study.
Thinking of Dad on Father’s Day. Missing an incredibly and deeply loved man, grateful for the years I got to be his daughter, honored to have been a piece of his unforgettable life, and looking forward to seeing him again one day.
While he is not here physically, my father continues to make a poignant and daily impact on my life, and I can only presume dozens of others.
Proud Papa Dan
I want to give warm congratulations to Dan and Oun Beck for the addition of baby Rosie to their family unit. We visited the maternity care ward this past weekend and it was simply touching. She’s one of the most beautiful babies I’ve ever seen, she managed to avoid the…how do I say this…squished alien look that we all know babies sometimes have when they’re first born but we love them anyway.
