*Written October 24th (my mom told me to publish this immediately after I read it to her; hi mom: love you)
Throughout all of my past romantic relationships, I have told one big, fat lie: “I hate romance/rom-com films.”
*Written October 24th (my mom told me to publish this immediately after I read it to her; hi mom: love you)
Throughout all of my past romantic relationships, I have told one big, fat lie: “I hate romance/rom-com films.”
Pain is a strange thing. It’s beautiful and it’s horrifying and it’s been researched and reviewed and wondered about for centuries. I’ve read that the body refuses to remember specific types of pain, childbirth for instance. There are also the types that the mind will hold onto forever. Research shows that any pain lasting more than a few minutes leaves a trace in the nervous system. But that’s only physical pain- what about the emotional? Suppression or substitution are two ways of avoiding memories of painful or uncomfortable times, yet in the moment of emotional or mental pain it feels as if there is no way to reduce it other than chemically.
This last week I got to spend time with my sister, Hilary, and my brother in law, Ron at their home and where I like to call one of my “happy places”. The places where I feel at ease, where stress’s chilling fingers find it difficult to find a full grasp, and where I feel unconditional love.
It’s already been a month since I made my first trek to Phnom Penh and experienced this well-known yet no less easy twelve hour layover in the McDonald’s-less Incheon Airport in Korea. The last time I was here, only a mere hundred feet away from where I sit now as I finished another entry, I was crying my eyes out. It was after a long night of slamming Soju and Asahi with Yoshi and our new friend, Misato, hashing out all of our frustrations and navigating through feelings of our impending work trip. I had experienced a restless six hours in the airport hotel, I was feeling anxious and disoriented, not knowing what to expect as I went back to the country I had left so recently and simply exhausted physically and emotionally.
I find it difficult to trust people, and I believe that stemming from that lack of trust comes me being easily irritated. I don’t know if there was a specific time or event that caused me to question people’s motives, what true colors lie beneath, and whether I would be the one, yet again, walking away first.
I know I’m not alone in knowing this particular kind of ache. The gnawing feeling that starts as a niggling growl then slowly, surely expands to an almost sickening ache that encases your entire being.
Over the past year and a half that I’ve lived in Phnom Penh, living life adjacent to my mom’s who paved our way into The Charming City, I’ve learned a lot about our relationship, our strengths, weaknesses, and more than anything- our deep seeded love for each other.
via The Prevailing Taste
“Whether your relationship had a lasting date of a raw egg in direct sunlight or has the expiration of a Twinkie bar (none…)- you tend to learn things not only about the other person, but about the role of fashion and style in the coupling.”
I normally wouldn’t reblog something from a website called Couples & Co., but this entry technically written by Brad Pitt was particularly moving to me.
Enjoy, disagree, or take away from it. Happy Friday.
I remember at the (especially) mouthy age of seven on Mother’s Day asking my mom why there wasn’t a Children’s Day. She responded with a smart yet gentle “every day is Children’s Day, Anna”.