Beauty, Family, lifestyle, Personal, relationships, United States

Less.

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I feel everything so keenly and bluntly today. A grade A example of a seemingly bipolar being, sensing each moment pointedly and on each end of the spectrum. Some fill me with what feels like a hot cup of tea, filled with surprising lemon tartness and smooth honey and warmth and safety, making it difficult to breathe in a way where everything seems to skip a beat- some are ragged and painful and sharp around the edges, making it difficult to breathe and not in the lovely way where everything seems to skip a beat.

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Personal

The fight.

Pain is a strange thing. It’s beautiful and it’s horrifying and it’s been researched and reviewed and wondered about for centuries. I’ve read that the body refuses to remember specific types of pain, childbirth for instance. There are also the types that the mind will hold onto forever. Research shows that any pain lasting more than a few minutes leaves a trace in the nervous system. But that’s only physical pain- what about the emotional? Suppression or substitution are two ways of avoiding memories of painful or uncomfortable times, yet in the moment of emotional or mental pain it feels as if there is no way to reduce it other than chemically.

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Expat, Personal, Travel

Calm waters.

Photo: Roberto Echeverry

“We thought we had found the loves of our lives, but we hadn’t.

We were still young; barely out of the sweaty grasp of puberty.

Still surprised when we bled,

At the shadows on our faces when the clock struck five.

 

Our scabbed knees gave way to leather pumps,

Dandelion stained Levis to chiffon dresses,

White Hanes to laced slips of fabric.

 

Our hearts ached for everything and everyone,

Each dog getting struck by a car reason to kill ourselves,

A kiss worth jumping off a bridge.”

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