Beauty, Family, Personal, relationships, Travel, United States

Tide pool.

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I spent the two days this past week on the Oregon Coast, in familiar yet missed salty air,  hair whipped to and fro by the rambunctious wind. It has been years since last visiting those dunes, since witnessing the crush of the tide and feeling the emptiness and fullness of the Pacific.

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Personal, Uncategorized

Reminder.

Brushing it off and saying “it’s just one of those days” is a disservice to yourself. It’s a cheat out of giving yourself permission to experience real pain, real emotions, real sadness. Whether or not you understand where it’s coming from doesn’t necessarily matter- and it doesn’t make it any less.

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Uncategorized, United States

Extravagantly.

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There are days when it feels like everything has been flecked with rose gold and hazel and honey. They are rare and they’re when I feel my heart in my throat and even sleep deprived and synapses slow, everything feels delicious.

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Personal

To the now.

Current

Considering it’s  “Back to the Future” day I’ve done a little thinking on my…wait. Future? Past? Present? I guess I need to have a rewatching session this evening to gauge how I should be looking at today but from what I gather, everyone is comparing what we thought things would be like on October 21, 2015 and how they really are. Most are entirely disappointed that instead of hovercrafts we have Segways and that instead of self blow-drying clothes we are subjected to equally stupid Kanye West’s idea of fashion.

While almost every blog, social media platform, or girly magazine has done something similar- I’m going to list a few of the things Anna McMischke wished she would have known about today on July 3rd, 1985. Even though I hadn’t been born yet. Things are definitely different than what I had expected them to be, even five years ago, but hey- isn’t that all part of the cinematic life experience?

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Personal

Blindly.

AJ Ragasa Photography

I can’t be sure if it’s the glowing orb of a moon hanging in the sky like a bowl of gold, Barcelona radio playing in the background, skimming through my amazing nephew’s recent travel photos (Luke Mattson), or being surrounded by moving boxes again that has me feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with gratitude, overwhelmed with wonder, overwhelmed with questions, overwhelmed with histrionics, overwhelmed with my surprising ability to be so surprisingly present in the simple moment of now.

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Cambodia, Expat, lifestyle, Personal, Phnom Penh, Travel

Sorority.

YAMS

It’s already been a month since I made my first trek to Phnom Penh and experienced this well-known yet no less easy twelve hour layover in the McDonald’s-less Incheon Airport in Korea. The last time I was here, only a mere hundred feet away from where I sit now as I finished another entry, I was crying my eyes out. It was after a long night of slamming Soju and Asahi with Yoshi and our new friend, Misato, hashing out all of our frustrations and navigating through feelings of our impending work trip. I had experienced a restless six hours in the airport hotel, I was feeling anxious and disoriented, not knowing what to expect as I went back to the country I had left so recently and simply exhausted physically and emotionally.

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Cambodia, Expat, lifestyle, Personal, Travel, United States

Patience.

Oh!

I find it difficult to trust people, and I believe that stemming from that lack of trust comes me being easily irritated. I don’t know if there was a specific time or event that caused me to question people’s motives, what true colors lie beneath, and whether I would be the one, yet again, walking away first.

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Cambodia, Expat, lifestyle, Personal, Phnom Penh, Travel, United States

Instant gratification.

Des Moines

I’m sitting in my muggy office under fluorescent lights, coconut to my right, sketch pad to my left, and the Tonle Sap directly ahead. It’s a far cry from where I was only weeks ago working out of various hotel rooms with the air conditioning on full blast while wearing my satin pajamas, and even more different than the space where I worked in New York overlooking Central Park, the bustle of the city never dying below.

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Cambodia, Expat, Personal, Phnom Penh, Travel

Wants.

airport
April 6, 2015: 5:20pm

Here I am again, eyes parallel with the clouds. It’s familiar, this situation. The seats feel the same: ever so slightly sticky against the back of my legs, right arm a bit warmer than the left from the sun streaming in from my window seat, tears behind my eyes waiting to meet my collarbone, and head foggier than usual from the air pressure. The hazy blue veiled with a fleet of cirrus that meet the mountain range just beyond the wing of the plane. This time I’m leaning into the wall to avoid contact with the man who has decided that the entire arm rest belongs to him; spacial awareness obviously not a strong suit.
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