Considering it’s “Back to the Future” day I’ve done a little thinking on my…wait. Future? Past? Present? I guess I need to have a rewatching session this evening to gauge how I should be looking at today but from what I gather, everyone is comparing what we thought things would be like on October 21, 2015 and how they really are. Most are entirely disappointed that instead of hovercrafts we have Segways and that instead of self blow-drying clothes we are subjected to equally stupid Kanye West’s idea of fashion.
While almost every blog, social media platform, or girly magazine has done something similar- I’m going to list a few of the things Anna McMischke wished she would have known about today on July 3rd, 1985. Even though I hadn’t been born yet. Things are definitely different than what I had expected them to be, even five years ago, but hey- isn’t that all part of the cinematic life experience?
Be open about what’s important to you
Whether it’s with your friends, your significant other, your boss and colleagues, or family- be up front about the things that you want to shape your life around. Not only will they be able to understand you better, they’ll be able to love you better by knowing how to integrate into your life. If the things that are vital to you don’t mean much or anything to them, then it’s likely going to be a tough road ahead. Maybe it’ll be one worth taking, maybe not. There are always exceptions to the rule but it’s always necessary to be true to yourself.
Value yourself in all aspects
While one thing about you may stand out to one person, another may strike someone else as great. Don’t let one aspect of you control how the world views you: be confident in that you are multifaceted, have been given gifts to share, and that there isn’t anything wrong with being a mixed bag.
Trust your instincts…and take a step back
Sometimes things simply do just seem too good to be true. And duh, generally that saying ending in ‘they probably are’- is right. This year has taught me a whole lot about empty promises, pipe dreams, and big talk. If I had analysed specific situations from an outsider’s point of view, been very honest with myself about the people/person involved, gauged all of the details and noticed the red flags- it would have been very clear that I was on some ships with some serious holes in the hull. There were also times where I would think “hm, that’s a bit weird/inappropriate/strange/peculiar/creepy/odd/dangerous/abnormal” but then chalk it up to the world being a crazy place. Yes, it is a crazy place- but there are a lot of safe, happy, beautiful parts of it too that don’t bring you down.
From yourself, and the people around you. Expect to be treated incredibly- even when things aren’t going perfectly. Expect for your friends to be there for you when you need them, expect your family to act like family and guide you and show up to important things and love you and cheer you on. Expect your romantic relationships to grow you and to be the strength during times of weakness and full understanding, to be communicative and to make each person actually, actually really want to be a better person. Expect your co-workers to help you out when you’re struggling and could use some extra hands or support you when things are going awry on a project or just be a listening ear when work has you overwhelmed. And on that same note, expect yourself to be able to do the same for them in all aspects, in love, and with gladness. Require yourself to give more than you receive and to constantly expand and work hard and to give.
Then learn to respect when your expectations can’t be met
Because they can’t be, not by one person and not by yourself. No one is going to be able to be the golden ticket to happiness for you and even a group of brilliantly wonderful people aren’t going to be the thing that makes you feel full and whole. Respect the needs and abilities of the people you ask of, and that while of course those you surround yourself should be able to meet some of your standards, being human just like you, they can’t do it all. Forgive, because it’s the only way you’ll ever find peace: with yourself or anyone else. It doesn’t mean you have to let someone back into your life, but you can let them go with confidence and calm.
Get to know yourself
I took a DISC profile test for my wonderful job and it told me a lot about myself (and also about the team I work with for asking me to participate in it!) and it helped me analyse and evaluate how I want to move forward both professionally and personally, day by day. While I think I have a rather good grasp on my own inner workings (thanks years of therapy, journaling, and dream analysis) I know that there are qualities that I can massively improve on to better my own work output and return, grow my relationships so they flourish and expand, and to continue to widen my network back in this city I love. Taking the time to reflect on who I am alone, in the quiet, in time I put aside for myself has been so rich this past week and I value it extremely. To feel like I know at least this much (which isn’t really all that much) at this point in my life makes all of the wondering, hardships, frustrations, and annoyances worth it.
Buy more bottles of premium liquor
Just do it. What you spend on one big old bottle of nice booze will entertain guests, be great nightcaps without having to drive, get you through some tough moments when a cry and a prayer just don’t seem to cut it and generally costs less than one night out on the town. My mama taught me this one.
There is a book load full of things I wish I could have known this entire life I’ve lead thus far, but then I remember that if I had been told these things it’s highly likely I would have rolled my eyes and ignored them and ended up right back in the same spot I am now. And if that were the case, I would be more than okay with that. This has been quite the escapade and will only continue to be, just with a bit more insight thrown in for the years to come.