Family, Personal, relationships

Selves.

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Sometimes in a moment alone after a thread of days spent around people for extended periods of time I’ll feel a very distinct feeling of hollowness. For sanity, I require time to just be quiet and still- maybe scrolling through websites, paging through a book, or staring out the window. Although necessary and mostly tenderly enjoyable, there’s a barrenness to the space around me when instead of clattering around in the kitchen or chatter from across the room I hear only the mechanic purr of the heater and cruel tick of the clock.

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Family, lifestyle, Personal, relationships

Your True North.

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In my favourite book The Virgin Suicides, after a first attempt at death, young Cecilia is asked post-slitting-of-the-wrists “What are you doing here, honey? You’re not even old enough to know how bad life gets.”

Her response, “Obviously, Doctor, you’ve never been a thirteen year old girl.”

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Art, Cambodia, Expat, Family, Fashion, Food, lifestyle, Music, Personal, Phnom Penh, relationships, Travel, United States

Whirlwind.

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Layers of ugliness and masterpiece.

It has been 13 days since soaring into the air towards Phnom Penh, Cambodia and two full back home, in Washington- in Tacoma, That Quiet Little Mountain Town. The amount of breaths, thoughts, experiences…stuff… that has happened in these past two weeks: in the world, in America, in my heart: vast. I am exhausted, fatigued to the bone and only able to process scraps at a time, little scintilla of memories as my mind rests and wanders, wakes and tremors.

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lifestyle, Personal, United States

Unconditional.

Gator riding

This last week I got to spend time with my sister, Hilary, and my brother in law, Ron at their home and where I like to call one of my “happy places”. The places where I feel at ease, where stress’s chilling fingers find it difficult to find a full grasp, and where I feel unconditional love.

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Beauty, Cambodia, Expat, Fashion, lifestyle, Phnom Penh

Seeing spots.

AM2

Yesterday I excitedly got to watch Scotland and the Forte Cambodia 5s complete in the Phnom Penh World Cup at 3g Mini Stadium. In sweltering 100+ heat and humidity as I stood cheering on the sidelines and felt trickles of sweat river down my thighs and pool into the back of my kneecaps I thought, “Isn’t it supposed to be rainy season?” This was right before I began to get lightheaded, seeing spots and stars dart behind my eyelids, and in a slight daze made my way back home for a couple bottles of water to rehydrate, a soggy workout, and a blowdry at The Dollhouse.

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