Scary.

Today is the day when Facebook feeds are full of bared fangs, throngs of sexy nurses/teachers/kittens/cops/robbers/whatevers, and event invites boasting nights of fear, frivolity, and bloody shots shots shots shots shots! Halloween, here you are again.

I don’t remember what I  did for Halloween last year, so obviously it wasn’t that big of a deal, and the year before I just stole someone’s Oktoberfest hat and got really drunk off Absolut at a house party. I think that was the last time I really did much for the occasion. I did do a pretty fun photo shoot this year, THE BABYSITTER, that had Halloween written all over it- but other than that my plans for tonight are less than werewolf worthy. Now when all the “scary” things come out to play on the 31st of October, I can’t really think of anything other than how badly I want pizza- lots of pizza- and that totally works because Freddy Kruger’s face was fashioned after the scarily good savory pie by head makeup artist David Miller.

All in all, there’s nothing terrifying to me about Halloween. Especially when you compare it to the daily horrors that actually are real, lurking, and ready to attack: acid attacks, mass rape, soaring unemployment rates, terrorist beheadings, school shootings, pedophilia…the gruesome list goes on and trumps any Top 100 Scariest Films list anyone can put together.

With all of these truly blood curdling things occurring across the globe, I’ve been doing a lot of serious thinking these past few weeks: mostly on staying positive, rejecting negative people from effecting me and my go-girl power, extending love and hospitality to those who need it, and overall giving my attitude a good carving out. It’s amazing what the power of clicking the “unfollow” button on Facebook can do, how ignoring a comment on Instagram empowers me (although it was meant to be mean but turned out just being sadly pathetic in its own tragic way), and that by rising up like a ghost  away from the hordes of zombies looking for flesh and brains- metaphorically speaking- I leave behind the power they hold over me. They don’t want my intestines and liver or blood, but they do want my confidence, my happiness , and small victories. Fortunately, I don’t invite that stuff into my house. You can stand on the front porch all night but the sun’s gonna rise eventually. Who’s going to get burned then?

There are so many things I complain about, and try to complain less about now. Luckily, poltergeists aren’t one of them. Neither are murderous clowns or possessed porcelain dolls. The walking dead? Maybe, in a sense. I’ve encountered some pretty spooky circumstances and scenarios in the past few months. Usually social moments that are the equivalent of someone sawing off their own leg to free themselves from some shackles in a sociopath’s game. The times you’re like “what the hell just happened here?”

I’m all for a good horror film: the suspense, the drama, the white knuckles-  that shit in real life? Not so much. So I’ve exorcised some of my own demons, burnt some sage to get rid of the bad energy coming from poopy people around me, and am wearing a shawl of garlic cloves (not really, I don’t think my office would be too appreciative) to keep the bloodsucking thoughts at bay.

So whether you’re going to trick or treating with your little ones dressed as cute lady bugs or a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, go get wasted on Type O colored cocktails, or spend the night in just not even giving a fart in space about Halloween- think about tomorrow and what the real scares are that lie ahead.

Do you have the protection to ward that gross stuff off? If not, maybe it’s time to call in the big guns- we can’t always do it alone.