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This Saturday we finally celebrated my mother’s fabulous marriage at a bridal shower that was beyond special. A bit belated, but perfect regardless.

The food was divine (quiche of every kind!), the bubbles flowed perfectly and freely, the setting magnificent with a view of the ocean’s sapphire body and a blanket of Evergreen, and the gifts intently thoughtful. Even with everything aesthetically and beautifully in order, what stood out more than anything was the marvelous group of women who greeted my sister and me at the door, a rush of estrogen and perfume and clanking silver bracelets and the warmth of skin.

I was surprised to see faces I hadn’t in weeks, months, even years. From women and family who had driven hours to come be with Sheila and to celebrate her union with Geza. It was staggeringly sublime to hug each one of my sisters, all of us in one place sharing adoration and support. Our ages reached across generations and learning and hearing the expressions of experience, life, and relationship from each stage was humbling, exciting, and nerve-wracking.

I left my childhood Presbyterian church several years ago after a string of events that had left a bad taste in my mouth. I finally got to see many of the women who have stayed true, loving, generous and connective in my family’s life even after I decided the Gig Harbor church wasn’t the right fit for what I yearned for. I also saw family friends who I consider more ‘family’ than ‘friend’ and felt these women’s gentle embrace even from across the room.

As we took part in a sweet and simple activity- sharing as a group a word that conveys our viewpoint and hopes for the new Mr. and Mrs. Kovats marriage- tears flowed freely as each woman expressed their dreams, desires, hopes, and visions for this new, rich, adventurous, beholden, anchored  love. We shared how we link to my mama and what each of our words mean to us and why (mine ‘reclaimed’- for many reasons) and it was a moment of pure dulcet harmony between women we so dearly treasure and esteem.

Their marriage is a new wing of a home that continues to grow and build that will affect and house many, to varying degrees- but all in a glimmering sheen of growth and happiness, openness and hope.

To be alone and together with this circle of humans is an honor I should not forget. They are relationships and beings to hold close, ever so close. True love was evident this day; I am touched to have not only been a spectator, but a participant as well.


  1. So beautifully written Anna. Congratulations to your mom. I will always remember how truly genuine your mom was. Her love for others came right out of her, I could feel it. As you know, this is a rare quality and is so precious! So sweet to see a tiny glimpse of the Mischke’s after all these years. Love and hugs to you, you sister and your mama.

  2. Anna, once again you captured the profound beauty of the day. What power we have when we gather in the name of LOVE and give thanks for all that is, including the painful, confusing and exhausting as we journey together. I continue to leak tears of gratitude. xoxoxo

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